最近我们在整理评选年度互惠生，发现了一些很好玩的故事。
互惠生Gabby来自哥伦比亚，超级活跃，和家庭的孩子自来熟，每天叽叽喳喳，欢呼雀跃。但是Gabby却专门跑过来预约了一次指导。（我们专门的流程，互惠生遇到一些和家庭相处的问题或者别的自己难以解决的问题，我们会有心理咨询意见的顾问老师咨询指导。）
Gabby告诉我，小朋友很喜欢她，真心把她当姐姐，但是小朋友也跟gabby分享了很多细节，包括她的一些“犯罪”（criminal）的事情。比如小朋友特别喜欢买文具，但是妈妈不是很支持，gabby给我们看了照片，确实，小朋友的文具装满了5个抽屉。“她还有两个行李箱，也是专门装文具的，现在也已经装满了，妈妈不让她买了，说现在的文具足够她用到博士毕业还能继续传给下一代！”
所以小朋友现在是偷钱买文具，最开始从阿姨买菜的钱包里面拿，到后来从爸爸柜子里。小朋友非常信任gabby所以直接跟gabby分享了这个秘密，让gabby保密，但是家庭妈妈会定期问小朋友怎么样，所以gabby现在不知道该怎么办了。
不知道南美女孩子是不是真的不能保守秘密，反正gabby看上去很急。
我和gabby分析商量了对策，接下来就是gabby的应对：
– gabby告诉小朋友，自己和她妈妈也是好朋友，都是好朋友，好朋友不能欺骗好朋友，比如你在学校有个好朋友a，a和b也是好朋友，如果b在外面说你坏话a不告诉你你会怎么办？是不是好朋友之间要透明？小朋友一下子就明白了。
– gabby告诉小朋友，现在的文具很多了，如果要再买的话，要学会分析比较，买入的速度不能超过使用的速度太多。总之不买是不行的，那就少买，比如今天我看见一支笔，我喜欢她的哪一点？我们记下来，在这一周以内我们看到别的喜欢的文具了，我们对比一下选择自己最想买的，一周就买一次。小朋友特别开心，学会了比较！
项目结束了，Gabby返回阿根廷继续读书，据说明年过年家庭还会邀请她过来一起过个中国年呢！
本文由Aupair Ren顾问A口述，Y整理。
Recently, while reviewing candidates for the Annual Au Pair selection, we came across some fascinating stories.
Gabby, an au pair from Colombia, is extremely energetic and instantly hit it off with the children in her host family. She’s always chirping and cheering joyfully every day. However, Gabby specifically booked a guidance session. (We have a dedicated process where au pairs can consult with advisory teachers, who also provide psychological counseling, for issues they struggle with in their host family or other difficulties.)
Gabby told me that the child absolutely adores her and genuinely sees her as an older sister. But the child also shared many details with Gabby, including some of her “criminal” activities. For example, the child loves buying stationery, but her mother doesn’t really support it. Gabby showed us photos – indeed, the child’s stationery filled five drawers. “She also has two suitcases specifically for stationery, and they’re already full now. Her mom won’t let her buy more, saying the current stock is enough to see her through to a Ph.D. and could even be passed down to the next generation!”
So now, the child has resorted to stealing money to buy stationery. It started with taking money from the auntie’s grocery wallet, and later from her dad’s cabinet. The child trusts Gabby completely, so she shared this secret with her, asking Gabby to keep it quiet. However, the host mother regularly checks in with Gabby about how the child is doing, so Gabby wasn’t sure how to handle the situation.
Not sure if South American girls really can’t keep secrets, but Gabby seemed very anxious about it.
I discussed and analyzed strategies with Gabby, and here’s how she handled it:
- Gabby told the child that she is also good friends with her mother. They are all friends, and good friends shouldn’t deceive each other. For example, if you have a good friend A at school, and A is also good friends with B, if B says bad things about you behind your back and A doesn’t tell you, how would you feel? Shouldn’t there be transparency between good friends? The child understood immediately.
- Gabby told the child that she already has a lot of stationery. If she wants to buy more, she needs to learn to analyze and compare, ensuring the rate of buying doesn’t far exceed the rate of using. In short, stopping buying altogether wasn’t feasible, so the solution was to buy less. For instance, if she sees a pen she likes today, what specific aspect does she like about it? Let’s write it down. Within the week, if she sees other stationery she likes, they can compare and choose the one she wants most – limiting purchases to once a week. The child was thrilled and learned how to compare!
The program ended, and Gabby returned to Argentina to continue her studies. Rumor has it the host family might invite her back next year to celebrate Chinese New Year together!
This article was narrated by Consultant A from Aupair Ren, and compiled by Y.