我曾经天真的以为国外的月亮就是圆，以前出国同行业开会，看到全世界各地的同行们，特别是美国的互惠生公司职员们一个个落落大方、时刻优雅自信的样貌。我每次回来了就跟人说，你看美国的互惠生公司，许可制度，互惠生经营了几十年，一切流程化，是我们学习的榜样。那时候我还做把中国互惠生送到美国的业务，每次送出国一个人选，我都在心里感叹又一个人选去了灯塔的方向。现在的我回想起来，那时候真是脑子坏了！
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这源于我和美国互惠生公司的几个合作案例。（此处隐去美国中介公司名）
案例1
2018年我们送去美国的一个互惠生小a，来自宁波，最后匹配了洛杉矶的一个家庭，签证、机票一切顺利。但是互惠生在那边做了几天后，被机构要求自行购买机票回国。我问了互惠生是怎么回事，原来是这个洛杉矶奇葩家庭和机构产生了费用上面的纠纷，简单点说就是，美国的机构没有收家庭的钱就把人给送过去了，（美其名曰，体验。但在我看来这不就是促销？试工？）这在我看来简直不可思议，互惠生一切都做得很好，你们机构的流程问题，现在要人自费回国？
案例2
2019年我们的一个互惠生小b，在纽约一个家庭做了4个月后，被要求提前结束项目，互惠生小b跟我说，她和家庭相处都很好，家庭也很诧异机构单方面要求互惠生离开。小b怎么问美国公司都没有回复，找了我，最后我联系了他们的项目经理，项目经理跟我解释说，小b和家庭目前没有问题，问题是小b占用了太多lcc太多资源（lcc就是互惠生顾问，简单理解就是互惠生公司里面维护互惠生、帮忙互惠生解决问题的人），他们算下来lcc的工作时间一半以上花在了小b身上，纽约州的人力很贵，算下来他们在小b这一单身上投入太多现在要止损，所以果断要求放弃。我问了小b，小b说lcc确实很帮忙，在项目初期提供了很多情绪价值。（故事很长就不讲了，小b读大学都走读，刚到纽约天天哭，lcc开车过去安抚过很多次，不过后来好了）我彻底无语，我们也是做互惠生项目的，家庭付费让我们为互惠生提供情绪价值我理解，我们每月都有组织互惠生活动，也遇到过类似小b这样的欧美互惠生在中国，我们也没有单独算过，不过我想美国公司肯定不认可我们的“有赚有赔、总账赚即可”的理念。
案例3
…
从此以后，我再也没有羡慕过外国的公司，人性哪里都是一样的。
虽然我遇到过类似的客户，但我相信我们处理地更好。
也有可能，我没有遇到过那么恶毒的客户。
我希望我永远不会遇到，那种“成长”我羡慕不来。
-本文由Aupair Ren顾问Y口述，Ann整理发布。
I used to naively believe that everything foreign was superior. When I attended international industry conferences abroad and saw colleagues from around the world, especially the employees from American au pair companies, who all appeared poised, elegant, and confident, I was always impressed. Every time I returned, I would tell people, “Look at the au pair companies in the US. They have a licensing system and decades of experience in operating au pair programs. Everything is streamlined—they are the model we should learn from.” At that time, I was also involved in sending Chinese au pairs to the US. With every candidate I successfully sent abroad, I would inwardly sigh, thinking yet another person was heading toward the “beacon of light.” Looking back now, I realize how foolish I was back then!
This change in perspective stems from several collaboration cases I had with American au pair companies. (The names of the US agencies are omitted here.)
Case 1
In 2018, we sent an au pair, Xiao A, from Ningbo to the US. She was eventually matched with a host family in Los Angeles. The visa and flight arrangements went smoothly. However, after just a few days with the host family, the agency required Xiao A to purchase her own ticket back to China. I asked Xiao A what had happened. It turned out that the host family in Los Angeles and the agency had a dispute over fees. To put it simply, the American agency had sent the au pair to the family without collecting the fee from the family first (under the guise of a “trial experience,” which, in my view, was more like a promotion or a trial work period). This was utterly unbelievable to me. The au pair had performed all her duties well, yet due to the agency’s procedural issues, she was now expected to pay for her own return trip?
Case 2
In 2019, another one of our au pairs, Xiao B, was asked to end her program early after four months with a host family in New York. Xiao B told me that she had a very good relationship with the host family, and the family was also surprised that the agency was unilaterally requesting the au pair to leave. No matter how many times Xiao B tried to contact the American company, she received no response. Eventually, she reached out to me. I contacted their project manager, who explained that there was no issue between Xiao B and the host family. The problem was that Xiao B was consuming too much of the LCC’s time and resources (LCC refers to the Local Coordinator Counselor, essentially the person within the au pair company who supports the au pair and helps resolve any issues). They calculated that more than half of the LCC’s working hours were spent on Xiao B. Given the high cost of labor in New York State, they determined that they had invested too much in Xiao B’s case and decided to cut their losses by terminating her program. When I asked Xiao B about it, she admitted that the LCC had been very helpful and provided significant emotional support, especially during the initial phase of the program. (The story is too long to detail here, but essentially, Xiao B had been a commuter student during university and cried frequently when she first arrived in New York. The LCC even drove over multiple times to comfort her, though things eventually improved.) I was speechless. We also run au pair programs. I understand that host families pay us to provide emotional support to au pairs. We organize monthly activities for our au pairs and have encountered similar cases with Western au pairs in China. However, we never calculate costs so meticulously. I suppose American companies wouldn’t agree with our philosophy of “win some, lose some, as long as the overall balance is profitable.”
Case 3
…
Since then, I have never again idolized foreign companies. Human nature is the same everywhere.
Although I have encountered similar challenging situations with clients, I believe we handle them better.
It’s also possible that I simply haven’t encountered clients as difficult as those described.
I hope I never do—that kind of “growth” is something I can do without.
— This article was shared by Consultant Y from Aupair Ren and compiled/published by Ann.