互惠生 全世界哪里都一样？Are Au Pair Experiences the Same All Over the World?

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互惠生在中国和国外家庭都有什么好玩的故事呢？相信世界之大无奇不有，我专门在海外贴吧R上找了最新的二十个好玩的互惠生故事，几乎都是当事人发言，而且很多已经被证实是确实发生的！看完了我只能说，世界大同，太阳底下没有新鲜事。基本上不管欧洲美国还是咱们国内，互惠生、家庭、中介遇到的事情不能说是一模一样，只能说“都会遇到”，不管你是要出国做互惠生还是寄宿家庭想要找互惠生，多看看别人经历的故事，就更多了解这个项目。

虽然站在人性的角度，大家都差不多，哪里都会有偏见，但我们依然相信，你看待世界什么样，你的生活就是什么样的！真心在哪里都最终会遇到真心！

  1. 标题：红旗？到达前先要钱
    分类：金钱 / 签证 / 骗局
    内容：一个美国寄宿家庭发现候选互惠生在匹配前要求寄送 90 美元现金充当 “签证费”，对方称哥伦比亚银行不提供小额贷款，催促尽快汇款，发帖者怀疑是诈骗，担心钱寄出后人会消失。
  2. 标题：三个月的互惠生被发现偷偷哭泣
    分类：超工时 / 剥削
    内容：寄宿家庭提供 7:30-17:30 的工作时间，工资仅 10 欧元一天，互惠生几乎无休息，一天晚上东道主发现她因疲劳和压力哭泣，评论者指出这是剥削性的保姆工作，远超互惠生范畴。
  3. 标题：又一则互惠生驾驶问题
    分类：驾驶 / 安全
    内容：寄宿家庭抱怨互惠生不会开车，她在限速 35mph 的路上只敢开 4-8mph，闯过停车标志，把油门当刹车，差点撞上停车桩，家庭想知道是否该让她多练习还是直接重配。
  4. 标题：互惠生谎称会游泳和开车
    分类：诚实度 / 技能造假
    内容：东道主要求互惠生会游泳和开车，但女孩谎称自己有相关技能，来到后既不会启动汽车，也不会游泳，甚至用翻译软件假装听懂说明，最后被抓包。
  5. 标题：孩子的攻击性正常吗？
    分类：儿童行为 / 相处冲突
    内容：一位互惠生照顾六岁男孩，他经常打她、打孕妇妈妈，还怂恿妹妹打人。父母只是轻描淡写地说“不要打”，或奖励他(给曲奇饼)，互惠生担忧是否要干预。
  6. 标题：互惠生能住在祖父母家吗？
    分类：住宿 / 合规
    内容：某寄宿家庭考虑让互惠生住在祖母家（距离自己家 2 英里）因为祖母房间更大更舒适，他们担心美国签证要求是否允许互惠生不住在雇主家。
  7. 标题：互惠生发生车祸
    分类：事故 / 保险
    内容：美国一户寄宿家庭的互惠生在开车时出了车祸，两臂骨折，无法照顾孩子数周，孩子无大碍，但夫妻双方没有资金雇临时保姆，不想重配，后来保险公司同意负担保姆费用并赔偿互惠生，并提供创伤治疗。
  8. 标题：互惠生撒谎（吸烟相关）
    分类：吸烟 / 健康
    内容：东道主得知新互惠生抵达后才承认自己是烟民，而简历上写 “从不抽烟”，她一天抽几根，味道弥漫在屋子里，东道主担心一岁孩子长期闻烟味，决定跟她坦白一个月后再寻找替代者。
  9. 标题：东道父亲越界
    分类：性骚扰 / 安全
    内容：一名互惠生朋友在北卡罗来纳遭遇东道主父亲性侵，男方给她饮酒、与其发生关系、发骚扰短信，甚至在妻子不在时强奸她，她害怕报案会失去签证，只能默默忍受。
  10. 标题：隐私被侵犯（卢森堡）
    分类：隐私 / 控制
    内容：18 岁互惠生从柏林旅行回来发现寄宿家庭擅自翻动并 “重新整理” 她的房间，男主人未经允许闯入房间监督她摆放物品，甚至在她换衣时硬闯，试图夺走她的手机，后续他们列出苛刻条款并威胁检查房间，她被迫逃跑。
  11. 标题：互惠生不告而别
    分类：离场 / 情感
    内容：寄宿家庭雇佣的互惠生突然称父亲重病需回国，家庭为她准备告别晚宴，然而她悄悄带走所有行李直接去机场，没有告别，东道主指她平时与孩子不亲近，只做最低限度工作，导致 4 岁女儿极度伤心。
  12. 标题：我们超棒的互惠生又骗我们了……
    分类：关系 / 诚信
    内容：寄宿家庭很喜欢他们的互惠生，但她谎言不断，先是偷偷带 “渣男” 男友到家里，又瞒报男友因殴打她被捕，她谎称只是酒吧打架并让警察下不为例，实际警方报告显示她才是施暴者。
  13. 标题：互惠生竟然自己有孩子
    分类：隐瞒 / 家庭状况
    内容：一家欧洲家庭的新互惠生抵达后经常与当地男友约会，东道主偶然在她社交媒体发现她竟然已经有一个孩子，而且之前一直说没男友，她隐瞒育儿状况并借机出门约会。
  14. 标题：我们的互惠生在说谎吗？
    分类：财务 / 信任
    内容：东道主给互惠生信用卡用于购物，账单上出现 200 美元的 Ray-Ban 眼镜消费，互惠生先否认知道此事，随后说是朋友买的，东道主怀疑她说谎，但她却反指责东道主不信任。
  15. 标题：忽视的那些红旗（临时互惠生问题）
    分类：短期临时 / 红旗
    内容：寄宿家庭雇佣一名临时互惠生一个月，面试时她表现优秀，但来后拒绝吃饭，独自买了 150 欧元零食，不看孩子，反把孩子拉到房间强迫写字，拒绝参加活动、把浴室弄乱，最终索要更多钱并留下损坏。
  16. 标题：寄宿家庭注意
    分类：中介 / 风控
    内容：某寄宿家庭警告大家别用 “Au Pair International Netherlands” 中介，他们的互惠生忽视儿童安全、违反安保要求、卫生习惯差又浪费能源，中介却不处理并轻率地重新匹配给另一家庭。
  17. 标题：寄宿家庭太脏让我生病 – 更新
    分类：健康 / 居住环境
    内容：一位互惠生在原帖控诉寄宿家庭脏乱导致她长年生病，更新时她决定搬出并花积蓄租房，不再当互惠生，打算在国外通过工作或恋爱移民。
  18. 标题：互惠生撒谎（吸烟与婴儿健康）
    分类：吸烟 / 婴儿 / 健康
    内容：寄宿家庭招到的新互惠生抵达第一天就坦白自己是烟民，但简历中标注 “不抽烟”，她每天在花园抽烟，衣服上烟味难散，东道主担心婴儿健康，决定让她留下一个月再换人。
  19. 标题：求建议:糟糕的寄宿家庭
    分类：情绪虐待/监控
    内容：18岁互惠生在法国被寄宿母亲恶意辱骂，因用错垃圾袋颜色或没按要求完成家务而被大声责备。家中装有监控摄像头但对她隐瞒。前任互惠生不到两个月就辞职，甚至报警，她希望逃离。
  20. 标题：举报寄宿家庭
    分类：不当要求/搬离
    内容：一名互惠生在西班牙被要求每晚睡在三岁孩子床上，以便夜班的母亲可以休息。她拒绝后，父母给了她三小时搬离的通知并要求她自费离开。她想向中介投诉以警示他人。

What interesting stories do au pairs have with host families, both in China and abroad? The world is undoubtedly full of wonders. I specifically searched the international forum Reddit and curated the twenty latest fascinating au pair stories. Most are firsthand accounts, and many have been confirmed as true! After reading them, all I can say is that it’s a small world after all—there’s nothing new under the sun. Essentially, whether in Europe, the US, or here in China, the situations encountered by au pairs, host families, and agencies may not be identical, but they are universally relatable. Whether you’re planning to be an au pair abroad or a host family seeking one, learning from others’ experiences will deepen your understanding of the program.
From the perspective of human nature, we are all quite similar, and biases exist everywhere. Yet we firmly believe that your worldview shapes your reality! Sincerity will ultimately find sincerity, no matter where you are.

  1. Title: Red Flag? Requesting Money Before Arrival
    • Category: Money / Visa / Scam
    • Content: A US host family found a candidate au pair requesting they send $90 in cash for a “visa fee” before matching. The candidate claimed Colombian banks don’t offer small loans and urged a quick transfer. The poster suspected a scam, fearing the person would disappear after receiving the money.
  2. Title: Au Pair Found Crying Secretly After Three Months
    • Category: Overwork / Exploitation
    • Content: The host family set work hours from 7:30 AM to 5:30 PM, with pay of only €10 per day, leaving the au pair with almost no breaks. One evening, the host found her crying from exhaustion and stress. Commenters noted this was exploitative nanny work, far beyond standard au pair duties.
  3. Title: Another Au Pair Driving Issue
    • Category: Driving / Safety
    • Content: A host family complained their au pair couldn’t drive properly: she drove only 4-8 mph on a 35 mph road, ran a stop sign, confused the brake and accelerator, and nearly hit a parking post. The family wondered whether to let her practice more or seek a rematch.
  4. Title: Au Pair Lied About Swimming and Driving Skills
    • Category: Honesty / Skill Misrepresentation
    • Content: The host required an au pair who could swim and drive. However, the girl lied about having these skills. Upon arrival, she couldn’t start the car, couldn’t swim, and even used translation apps to pretend she understood instructions, until she was finally caught.
  5. Title: Is the Child’s Aggression Normal?
    • Category: Child Behavior / Conflict
    • Content: An au pair cared for a six-year-old boy who frequently hit her and his pregnant mother, and encouraged his sister to hit others. The parents merely said lightly “don’t hit” or rewarded him (with cookies). The au pair was concerned about whether to intervene.
  6. Title: Can an Au Pair Live with Grandparents?
    • Category: Accommodation / Compliance
    • Content: A host family considered having their au pair live at the grandmother’s house (2 miles away) because the room was larger and more comfortable. They worried whether US visa requirements allow the au pair not to reside with the employer/host family.
  7. Title: Au Pair Gets into a Car Accident
    • Category: Accident / Insurance
    • Content: An au pair with a US host family was in a car accident, breaking both arms and leaving her unable to care for the children for weeks. The children were fine, but the couple couldn’t afford a temporary nanny and didn’t want to rematch. Later, their insurance agreed to cover babysitting costs, compensate the au pair, and provide trauma therapy.
  8. Title: Au Pair Lied (Smoking)
    • Category: Smoking / Health
    • Content: A host discovered their new au pair admitted after arrival to being a smoker, despite listing “never smokes” on her profile. She smoked several cigarettes a day, and the smell permeated the house. Concerned for their one-year-old child’s long-term health, the host decided to be upfront with her and start looking for a replacement in a month.
  9. Title: Host Dad Crossed the Line
    • Category: Sexual Harassment / Safety
    • Content: A friend of an au pair in North Carolina was sexually assaulted by the host dad. He gave her alcohol, had sex with her, sent harassing texts, and even raped her when his wife was away. She feared reporting it would cost her visa and endured in silence.
  10. Title: Privacy Violated (Luxembourg)
    • Category: Privacy / Control
    • Content: An 18-year-old au pair returned from a trip to Berlin to find the host family had rummaged through and “reorganized” her room. The host dad entered without permission to supervise her putting things away, even barging in while she was changing, and tried to take her phone. Later, they presented strict rules and threatened room inspections, forcing her to flee.
  11. Title: Au Pair Left Without Saying Goodbye
    • Category: Departure / Emotions
    • Content: The host family’s au pair suddenly claimed her father was critically ill and she needed to return home. The family prepared a farewell dinner. However, she quietly took all her luggage and went straight to the airport without a goodbye. The host noted she was usually distant from the children and did the bare minimum, leaving their 4-year-old daughter devastated.
  12. Title: Our Awesome Au Pair Lied to Us Again…
    • Category: Relationship / Honesty
    • Content: The host family loved their au pair, but she kept lying: first, she secretly brought her “jerk” boyfriend home, then concealed that he was arrested for assaulting her. She claimed it was just a bar fight and she told the police to let him off, but the actual police report indicated she was the aggressor.
  13. Title: Au Pair Actually Has a Child
    • Category: Concealment / Family Status
    • Content: A new au pair with a European family frequently dated a local boyfriend after arrival. The host accidentally discovered via her social media that she already had a child, having previously claimed no boyfriend. She concealed her parental status to go out on dates.
  14. Title: Is Our Au Pair Lying?
    • Category: Finances / Trust
    • Content: The host gave the au pair a credit card for groceries, but the bill showed a $200 charge for Ray-Ban sunglasses. The au pair first denied knowledge, then said a friend bought them. The host suspected lying, but the au pair counter-accused the host of distrusting her.
  15. Title: The Red Flags We Ignored (Temporary Au Pair Issues)
    • Category: Short-term Temporary / Red Flags
    • Content: A host family hired a temporary au pair for one month. She interviewed well but, upon arrival, refused family meals, bought €150 worth of snacks for herself; didn’t properly watch the children, instead pulling them into a room to force them to write; refused activities, messed up the bathroom, and finally demanded more money before leaving damage behind.
  16. Title: Heads Up for Host Families
    • Category: Agency / Risk Management
    • Content: A host family warned against using the “Au Pair International Netherlands” agency. Their au pair neglected child safety, violated security protocols, had poor hygiene, and wasted energy, but the agency didn’t address it and hastily rematched her with another family.
  17. Title: Host Family’s Filth Made Me Sick – Update
    • Category: Health / Living Conditions
    • Content: An au pair originally posted that the host family’s squalor caused her prolonged illness. In an update, she decided to move out, using her savings to rent a place, quitting being an au pair, and planning to stay abroad through work or a relationship.
  18. Title: Au Pair Lied (Smoking & Infant Health)
    • Category: Smoking / Infant / Health
    • Content: A new au pair admitted on her first day of arrival that she was a smoker, though her profile stated “non-smoker.” She smoked daily in the garden, and her clothes carried a strong smoke smell. Worried for their infant’s health, the hosts decided to let her stay for a month before finding a replacement.
  19. Title: Advice Needed: Terrible Host Family
    • Category: Emotional Abuse / Monitoring
    • Content: An 18-year-old au pair in France was verbally abused by the host mother for using the wrong trash bag color or not completing chores exactly as demanded. The house had hidden surveillance cameras she wasn’t informed about. The previous au pair quit within two months and even called the police. She hopes to escape.
  20. Title: Reporting a Host Family
    • Category: Inappropriate Demands / Moving Out
    • Content: An au pair in Spain was asked to sleep in the three-year-old’s bed every night so the mother, who worked night shifts, could rest. Upon refusal, the parents gave her a three-hour notice to move out and demanded she leave at her own expense. She wants to report them to the agency to warn others.

Source: Reddit r/Aupairs (No external links, just story summaries) | @宇多 Yul Au Pair Observations

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