互惠生在中国：心理适应曲线与成长之旅 (Au Pair in China: Understanding the Cultural Adjustment Curve and Embracing Growth)

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来到中国担任互惠生是一段令人兴奋且充满意义的旅程。但在兴奋之余，你也可能经历一些心理上的起伏和挑战。心理学上有一个概念叫文化适应曲线（Cultural Adjustment Curve），将这种跨文化适应过程分为不同阶段：从最初的新鲜兴奋期，到中期可能出现的文化休克（Culture Shock）低谷，再到后期逐渐适应并重新激发对文化的兴趣 (Culture shock – Wikipedia)。了解这一曲线可以帮助你对自己的情绪变化有合理预期，并以更积极的心态面对在中国的生活。毕竟，这段经历不仅关乎旅行，更是关于自我成长和文化交流的宝贵机会。

It is an exciting and meaningful journey to become an au pair in China. Along with the excitement, however, you may experience some emotional ups and downs. In psychology, there is a concept known as the Cultural Adjustment Curve (文化适应曲线), which divides the cross-cultural adaptation process into stages: from an initial honeymoon period of excitement, to a mid-term culture shock low point, and finally a later stage of gradual adjustment and renewed cultural interest (Culture shock – Wikipedia). Understanding this curve can help you set realistic expectations for your emotional changes and approach life in China with a more positive mindset. After all, this experience is not just about travel – it is a valuable opportunity for personal growth and cultural exchange.

值得强调的是，经历文化冲击是每个来到新文化环境的人都会有的正常反应 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology)。情绪上的高低起伏就像过山车，但这些都是你成长旅程的一部分。

It’s important to note that experiencing culture shock is a normal reaction for anyone entering a new cultural environment (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology). The emotional highs and lows can feel like a roller coaster, but they are all part of your growth journey.

兴奋期：新鲜与好奇 (Honeymoon Stage – Excitement and Curiosity)

刚到达中国的最初几周，一切对于你来说都新鲜有趣。你可能对周围的环境、食物、语言和家庭生活充满好奇和热情。这个阶段常被称为“蜜月期”，因为你正沉浸在探索新文化的兴奋之中——此时周围的一切看起来都令人兴奋、新奇有趣 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology)。尽情享受这段时期的积极能量，去发现中国的美丽与多样。同时也可以趁此机会与寄宿家庭建立初步的信任和感情，为接下来的生活打下良好基础。

The first few weeks of arriving in China often feel fresh and fascinating. You may be filled with curiosity and enthusiasm about your surroundings – from the food and language to daily life with your host family. This period is often called the “honeymoon” phase, as you are immersed in the excitement of exploring a new culture – at this time, everything around you seems exciting, interesting and new (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology). Embrace the positive energy of this period to discover the beauty and diversity of China. It’s also a great time to build an initial bond of trust and understanding with your host family, laying a good foundation for the months ahead.

文化冲击与低谷期：面对挑战 (Culture Shock & Low Point – Facing the Challenges)

当新鲜感开始褪去，你可能进入文化冲击的低谷阶段。在这一时期，各种差异开始凸显：你可能因语言障碍或不同的生活习惯而感到不适和身心疲惫 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology)；周围的一切不再像最初那样美好无虑。许多互惠生在这个阶段会经历强烈的文化休克，伴随着想家的情绪，甚至开始怀疑自己的决定。例如，你可能会想：“要是一切都和在家里一样就好了”，觉得如果某些事情能和家乡一样，一切就会更容易 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology)。请记住，现在的低落和不适感是完全正常的 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology) (5 ways to improve your life as an au pair – AuPairWorld)。几乎每个出国生活的人都会在某种程度上经历类似的情绪波动；这并不意味着你不适应——它只是适应过程的一部分。

As the novelty wears off, you may enter a low period of culture shock. During this phase, differences come to the forefront: you might feel uncomfortable and exhausted by language barriers or contrasting daily habits (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology), and things around you no longer seem as effortless or perfect as they did at first. Many au pairs experience intense culture shock at this stage, accompanied by homesickness and even doubts about their decision. For example, you might catch yourself thinking, “Everything would be better if only it were like home,” feeling that if certain things were the same as back home, it would make life easier (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology). Remember that these feelings of sadness or discomfort are totally normal (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology) (5 ways to improve your life as an au pair – AuPairWorld). Virtually everyone living abroad goes through similar emotional swings to some degree; it doesn’t mean you aren’t adapting – it’s simply part of the adjustment process.

针对这一充满挑战的阶段，有许多行之有效的方法可以帮助你应对并保持积极心态：

For this challenging period, there are many effective ways to cope and keep a positive mindset:

  • 深呼吸，保持冷静： 当感到压力时，尝试深呼吸让自己冷静下来，再理性地看待问题。
    Take a deep breath and stay calm: When you feel overwhelmed, try taking a few deep breaths to calm down, then reflect and assess the situation clearly (5 ways to improve your life as an au pair – AuPairWorld).
  • 调整心态，记住初衷： 提醒自己当初为什么选择来到这里，并相信目前的困难只是暂时的。每个人都会有不顺利的时候，阴霾终会过去。
    Adjust your mindset and remember your purpose: Remind yourself why you chose to come, and trust that the current difficulties are temporary. Everyone has hard days, but like rainy weather, homesickness and stress will pass and “there are better times ahead.” (5 ways to improve your life as an au pair – AuPairWorld)
  • 寻求支持，不要独自承受： 主动寻求帮助，与寄宿家庭坦诚沟通你的感受，或者联系项目协调员或心理顾问倾诉困扰。不要把问题闷在心里，有疑问就提出来。
    Seek support – don’t bear it alone: Reach out for help by talking openly with your host family about how you feel, or contacting your program coordinator or counselor for guidance. Don’t keep issues to yourself – if something is bothering you, speak up and ask for help (Culture Shock: A Guide for Au Pairs Navigating New Cultures | Go Au Pair).
  • 融入社交圈，结交朋友： 积极参加当地的活动，结识其他互惠生或有相似兴趣的朋友，这可以大大缓解你的孤独感。
    Build a social network: Join local activities and meetups, connect with other au pairs or friends who share your interests – doing so will greatly help ease feelings of loneliness (Culture Shock: A Guide for Au Pairs Navigating New Cultures | Go Au Pair).
  • 保持与家人朋友联系： 通过视频、电话等方式与家乡的亲友定期联系，从熟悉的人那里获得支持，这会让你心情好转。
    Stay connected with home: Keep in regular contact with loved ones back home via video calls or messages. Support from family and friends in your home country can comfort you and lift your mood when you’re feeling down (Culture Shock: A Guide for Au Pairs Navigating New Cultures | Go Au Pair).

通过以上方法，你会发现这段低谷期逐渐变得容易应对，为接下来的适应做好准备。最重要的是，请给自己足够的时间和耐心去适应 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology)，并相信保持积极的心态会对你大有帮助 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology)。

By using the above strategies, you’ll find this low period becomes gradually easier to handle, paving the way for the next stage of adjustment. Most importantly, give yourself sufficient time and patience to adapt (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology), and remember that keeping a positive frame of mind will help you greatly (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology).

再适应与文化兴趣激发：融入与探索 (Adjustment & Cultural Curiosity – Integration and Exploration)

度过低谷之后，大多数互惠生会逐渐进入再适应阶段，重新焕发出对周围文化的兴趣。你开始更深入地理解中国的习俗和生活方式，每天的生活不再感到别扭，反而变得轻松自如。在这个阶段，你已经开始接受并习惯当地的生活方式，对在中国的生活感到舒适自在，有时甚至觉得自己仿佛就是当地人 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology)。那些曾经让你不适应的差异，如今可能变成了有趣的探索领域——你愿意尝试新的食物，学习更多中文，或参与中国传统节日并与寄宿家庭一起庆祝。随着你克服困难并培养出跨文化生活的能力，自信心也在不断提升。现在，你可以更主动地去探索中国文化的魅力，比如参观历史古迹、学习太极拳或书法，参与各种文化活动，让你的旅程变得更加丰富多彩。

After getting through the low point, most au pairs gradually enter a readjustment phase, with a renewed curiosity about the culture around them. You begin to understand Chinese customs and way of life on a deeper level, and daily life no longer feels so awkward; instead, it becomes comfortable and natural. At this stage, you have come to accept and get used to the local way of living, feeling at ease in China, sometimes even as if you were almost a local yourself (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology). The differences that once felt uncomfortable may now turn into interesting areas to explore – you find yourself willing to try new foods, learn more of the language, or participate in traditional festivals with your host family. As you overcome challenges and develop the ability to live in a new culture, your confidence grows as well. Now you can proactively delve into the charm of Chinese culture: for example, visit historical sites, learn Tai Chi or calligraphy, and take part in various cultural activities, making your journey all the more rewarding and colorful.

在地支持与积极心态建设 (Localized Support & Building a Positive Mindset)

在整个互惠生旅程中，获得及时的支持与指导非常重要。幸运的是，作为你的在华互惠项目机构，我们（AiC / AuPairREN）会始终陪伴在你左右，帮助你顺利度过适应过程。我们提供专业的心理咨询顾问和项目协调员，你可以随时联系他们来倾诉困惑或寻求建议 (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology) (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology)。同时，每个月我们还会组织丰富的文化交流活动，带领互惠生们深入体验中国文化 (Yohoo Au Pair China Culture Exchange Program (Culture Homestay/Tutoring) | Go Overseas)。例如，我们会安排博物馆参观、中国书法课、茶艺体验等活动，不仅让你学习中国传统，更给你机会与朋友们分享交流。在这些活动中，你可以和其他互惠生聊聊各自的感受，互相鼓励，明白自己并不孤单。

Throughout your au pair journey, receiving timely support and guidance is crucial. Fortunately, as your program facilitators in China, we (AiC/AuPairREN) will be by your side to help you navigate the adjustment process. We provide professional counselors and coordinators whom you can reach out to at any time to discuss your challenges or seek advice (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology) (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology). At the same time, we organize enriching cultural exchange activities every month to help you experience Chinese culture more deeply (Yohoo Au Pair China Culture Exchange Program (Culture Homestay/Tutoring) | Go Overseas). For example, we arrange museum visits, Chinese calligraphy workshops, tea ceremony experiences, and so on – these not only let you learn about Chinese traditions, but also give you a chance to bond with peers and share insights. During these events, you can chat with other au pairs about your feelings and encourage each other, realizing that you are not alone.

除了外在的支持，内在的心态调整也同样关键。保持开放的态度，勇于尝试新事物，给自己设定一些小目标（例如学会一句新的中文短语，或者独自去附近的市场购物）并逐步达成，这些都会帮助你建立自信心。正如一位曾经的互惠生所说：“这段经历不只是关于教学或学习，而是关于建立一生的联系，并以你从未想象过的方式成长” (Yohoo Au Pair China Culture Exchange Program (Culture Homestay/Tutoring) | Go Overseas)。用积极的眼光看待每一个挑战，你会发现自己在中国度过的时光变得愈发有意义。

In addition to external support, your internal mindset is just as important. Maintain an open attitude and be brave in trying new things. Set some small personal goals for yourself (for example, learning a new Chinese phrase, or going to the local market by yourself) and achieve them step by step – these will all help build your confidence. As one former au pair put it, “this experience is not just about teaching or learning; it’s about building lifelong connections and growing in ways you never imagined” (Yohoo Au Pair China Culture Exchange Program (Culture Homestay/Tutoring) | Go Overseas). By viewing each challenge with positivity, you’ll find that your time in China becomes all the more meaningful.

结语 (Conclusion)

作为一名20岁左右的国际青年，来到中国担任互惠生注定是一场值得期待的冒险。旅程中有高峰也有低谷，但每一个阶段都会让你更加了解自己，拓展视野。在我们团队的支持以及你自己的努力下，这段旅程将成为你人生中宝贵的一笔财富——充满挑战、成长和难忘回忆的经历。带着开放的心态投入这场跨文化体验吧，我们相信你不仅会在中国收获友谊，更会收获一个更坚强、更成熟的自己。

As a young adult around 20 years old, coming to China as an au pair is bound to be an adventure worth looking forward to. There will be highs and lows along the way, but each stage will help you understand yourself better and broaden your horizons. With our team’s support and your own efforts, this journey will become a valuable asset in your life – an experience filled with challenges, growth, and unforgettable memories. Approach this cross-cultural adventure with an open heart, and we are confident that you will not only gain friendships in China, but also emerge as a stronger and more mature version of yourself.

References:

(Culture shock – Wikipedia)“Culture shock can be described as consisting of at least one of four distinct phases: honeymoon, negotiation, adjustment, and adaptation.” Wikipedia: Culture shock (2025).

(5 ways to improve your life as an au pair – AuPairWorld) AuPairWorld. “5 ways to improve your life as an au pair.” (September 26, 2024).

(Culture Shock: A Guide for Au Pairs Navigating New Cultures | Go Au Pair) Go Au Pair. “How Au Pairs Can Cope With Culture Shock.” (2023).

(Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology) (Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology) AuPair in China (AiC). “Cultural adjustment of Au Pairs in China | Au Pair Psychology.” (Ayumi, May 7, 2023).

(Au Pair China Culture Exchange Program (Culture Homestay/Tutoring) | Go Overseas)| Go Overseas) GoOverseas – Au Pair in China Program Reviews. Review by Nora (Dec 12, 2024).

互惠生在中国的心路历程：从兴奋到成长 (Au Pair in China: A Journey from Excitement to Growth)

作为一名来自欧美国家的互惠生，当你踏上中国的土地时，内心难免充满了新奇与激动。全新的文化、美食、语言和环境带来的兴奋感，让你感觉仿佛打开了一扇通往冒险的大门。然而，这段旅程并非始终都是阳光灿烂——正如心理学上的“文化适应曲线”（Cultural Adjustment Curve）所揭示的那样，来到异国他乡的人往往会经历情绪的起伏 (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO)。通常，这种心路历程包括最初的兴奋期，随后可能出现的文化冲击（文化休克）与低谷期，以及最终逐渐再适应并激发对新文化兴趣的阶段。

了解这些阶段能帮助你提前做好心理准备。在本文中，我们将逐一引导你走过兴奋、低谷再到适应的心路历程，引用心理学理论和一些国际互惠生平台（如 AuPairWorld）的建议，并结合我们 AiC/AuPairREN 在中国提供的心理顾问支持与每月文化交流活动，给出贴合中国文化背景的应对方案和积极心态建设建议。希望能帮助你在这段旅程中保持积极，充分体验在中国当互惠生的意义与乐趣。

As an au pair coming from abroad to China, you’ll likely be brimming with excitement when you first land in this country. The thrill of a brand-new culture, cuisine, language, and environment can make it feel like a grand adventure has just begun. However, this journey isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time — as described by the psychological concept of the “Cultural Adjustment Curve,” newcomers in a foreign culture typically go through emotional highs and lows (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO). Generally, this journey includes an initial honeymoon phase of excitement, a subsequent period of culture shock and lows, and finally a stage of readjustment where you find your footing and rekindle your interest in the new culture.

Knowing what to expect at each stage can help you prepare mentally. In this guide, we will walk you through the excitement, the lows, and the recovery, sharing insights from psychology and practical tips from international au pair platforms (such as AuPairWorld). Along the way, we’ll also highlight the localized support that our AiC/AuPairREN program offers in China—like access to a psychological counselor and monthly cultural exchange events—to provide solutions grounded in Chinese culture. With these tools and a positive mindset, you can confidently navigate the challenges and fully embrace the meaningful adventure of being an au pair in China.

第一阶段：兴奋期 (Stage 1: Honeymoon Phase)

兴奋与新奇的蜜月期。作为初来乍到的互惠生，你很可能正处于兴奋期。一切看起来都是那么新颖、有趣 (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO)——街头巷尾的新鲜小吃、充满历史感的古建筑、还有第一次听到寄宿家庭的孩子亲切地用中文叫你“姐姐/哥哥”的那种欣喜，都让你充满了惊喜和成就感。在这段“蜜月”时期，你的热情高涨，觉得生活仿佛完美无瑕 (How to Deal with Culture Shock)。任何困难在此刻看来都微不足道，你充满干劲去探索周围的一切。

这一美好的阶段通常会持续几周时间 (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO)。尽情享受当下吧！主动拥抱每一个新体验——对所有到来的机会都说“好” (Adapting to a new country: 6 tips for au pairs – AuPairWorld)。大胆尝试各式各样的中国美食，参加当地的节日庆典或社区活动，让自己融入当地的日常生活。利用你初到时高涨的热情去结识新朋友，融入寄宿家庭的日常，并开始学几句简单的中文。这些积极的举措将为你接下来在中国的生活打下良好的基础。

另外，别忘了文化交流是双向的。你的寄宿家庭和周围的人也会对你的背景充满好奇。不妨主动分享你的文化——例如为寄宿家庭烹饪一道家乡特色菜，教孩子们几句你的母语，或展示一些家乡的照片——这样的交流将拉近你与他们之间的距离，建立起温馨的情感连接 (Adapting to a new country: 6 tips for au pairs – AuPairWorld)。

享受这段蜜月期的美好，同时也请记住，随着日常生活渐渐步入正轨，这种最初的兴奋感可能会趋于平稳。这并不意味着旅程的意义减少了，而只是表示你正逐渐过渡到适应过程的下一阶段。

Excitement and wonder in the honeymoon phase. As a newly-arrived au pair, you are most likely experiencing the honeymoon stage of cultural adjustment. Everything seems fascinating and fun (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO)—from the new street foods you try in the alleys, to the ancient buildings rich with history, to the delight of hearing your host children call you “jie jie” or “ge ge” (big sister/brother in Chinese) for the first time. During this period, your enthusiasm is at its peak and life may even feel “absolutely flawless” (How to Deal with Culture Shock). Any challenges seem minor right now, and you’re eager to explore everything around you with boundless energy.

As wonderful as this phase is, it typically lasts a few weeks (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO). So make the most of it! Embrace every new experience — say “yes” to every opportunity that comes your way (Adapting to a new country: 6 tips for au pairs – AuPairWorld). Try all kinds of Chinese foods, join in local festival celebrations or community events, and immerse yourself in the daily rhythm of life. Use your initial high enthusiasm to make new friends, adapt to your host family’s routines, and start learning a few simple Chinese phrases. These proactive steps will lay a solid foundation for your life in China moving forward.

Also remember, cultural exchange is a two-way street. Your host family and people you meet are likely curious about your background as well. Don’t hesitate to share your own culture — for example, cook a signature dish from your home country, teach the kids a few words in your native language, or show off some photos of your hometown. Such sharing will help bridge the gap and build a warm connection between you and your new friends (Adapting to a new country: 6 tips for au pairs – AuPairWorld).

Enjoy this honeymoon period, but keep in mind that as daily life settles into routine, the initial euphoria may start to level off. This doesn’t mean your adventure is any less meaningful; it just means you’re naturally transitioning into the next stage of the adjustment process.

第二阶段：文化冲击与低谷期 (Stage 2: Culture Shock and Low Point)

文化休克：面对挑战的低谷期。随着时间推移，当最初的新鲜感开始减退，你可能会逐渐进入文化冲击的低潮期。也许是在来到中国的几周或几个月后，单调的日常开始取代最初的新奇，你愈发清晰地感受到中西文化之间的巨大差异 (How to Deal with Culture Shock)。此时，困惑、沮丧等情绪可能涌上心头，你甚至会开始强烈地想念家乡和亲友。你可能会体验到典型的“文化休克”症状：感到被误解、倍感思乡、情绪低落，甚至提不起以往的热情 (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO)。

首先要明白的是，这些感受是适应过程中非常正常的一部分 (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO)。心理学家常用U型曲线理论来描述跨文化适应：在经历了开始阶段的兴奋高峰后，人们的心情往往会滑入低谷，然后才逐渐回升。这意味着你现在的低落只是整个旅程中的一个阶段，之后情况会慢慢好转。几乎每个来到异国生活的人都会经历类似的起伏，你并不孤单 (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO)。正如有经验的互惠生项目组织者所形容的那样，你在新环境中的经历就像海浪一样，有起有伏 (How to Deal with Culture Shock)。

积极应对文化冲击的小建议 (Tips for Coping with Culture Shock):

  • 与他人保持联系 (Stay connected with others)
  • 保持开放和好奇的态度 (Keep an open and curious mind)
  • 不要犹豫寻求帮助 (Don’t hesitate to seek help)
  • 保持健康的生活习惯 (Maintain healthy daily routines)
  • 参加文化交流活动 (Join cultural exchange events)

当你处于低谷时，最重要的是不要把问题憋在心里。及时向他人倾诉能够大大缓解压力。试着敞开心扉，告诉寄宿家庭你的感受；他们或许无法完全理解你正在经历的一切，但一定愿意支持你。如果觉得和寄宿家庭谈心有顾虑，你也可以联系 AiC/AuPairREN 的心理顾问或协调员，寻求专业的支持和建议。不要把寻求帮助看成是软弱的表现。相反，正如有经验者所说：“共同面对将带来解决之道” (How to Deal with Culture Shock)——和关心你的人一起分担，你会更快地走出困境。

与你的同伴交流也很有帮助。尝试联系其他在中国的互惠生，加入我们项目的互惠生交流群或参加线下见面活动。大家都在经历类似的过程，倾听别人的故事、分享自己的感受，会让你意识到自己并非孤军奋战 (Adapting to a new country: 6 tips for au pairs – AuPairWorld)。许多互惠生在倾诉和交流之后都会感觉如释重负，心情好转不少。

同时，不要忽视对自己身心的照顾。保持规律的作息和均衡的饮食，适当锻炼身体，这些健康习惯有助于稳定情绪，让你有更充沛的精力去应对挑战。给自己设定一些小目标，例如每周学会一句新的中文短语，或者在周末探访一个新的地方。这些小成就能带来积极的心理暗示，逐渐重燃你对生活的热情。请记住，这段低谷期只是暂时的，坚持下去，你很快就会迎来雨过天晴。

一个有效的方法是积极参与我们 AiC/AuPairREN 每月举办的文化交流活动。即使在情绪低落时，我们也鼓励你走出家门去参加这些活动。在那里，你将有机会体验中国文化的有趣面，例如学习书法、品味茶艺，或者和其他互惠生一起进行短途旅行。许多互惠生发现，参加这些活动之后，他们的心情明显好转，对中国文化也产生了新的兴趣和理解。它不仅帮助你打破生活的单调、调整心态，也让你重新找回了当初来中国时那份好奇和激情。

熬过这段不易的时期并不轻松，但正是这些挑战会让你逐渐变得更加坚强和成熟。随着时间推移，你会发现自己一点点适应了周围的环境，阴霾也在慢慢消散——这意味着你正迈向文化适应曲线的下一阶段，也就是重新适应环境并重新激发对文化兴趣的时期。

Culture shock: the challenging low point. As time goes on and the initial novelty begins to wear off, you may gradually enter a low phase of culture shock. Perhaps after a few weeks or months in China, the monotony of daily life replaces the early excitement, and you become acutely aware of the significant differences between Chinese culture and your own (How to Deal with Culture Shock). At this stage, feelings of confusion and frustration may surge, and you might start missing home and loved ones intensely. You could experience classic “culture shock” symptoms: feeling misunderstood, extremely homesick, down, or just not as enthusiastic as before (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO).

The first thing to understand is that these feelings are a very normal part of the adjustment process (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO). Psychologists often describe cross-cultural adaptation with a U-curve: after the initial peak of excitement, people’s mood tends to slide into a low point before rising again. This means your current low is just one phase of the journey, and things will improve afterward. Nearly everyone who lives abroad goes through similar ups and downs, so you are not alone (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO). As one seasoned au pair organization described, your experiences in a new environment will go “up and down, like riding a wave” (How to Deal with Culture Shock).

Tips for Coping with Culture Shock:

  • Stay connected with others
  • Keep an open and curious mind
  • Don’t hesitate to seek help
  • Maintain healthy daily routines
  • Join cultural exchange events

When you’re in a slump, the most important thing is not to bottle it up inside. Talking about how you feel can greatly reduce your stress. Try opening up to your host family about your feelings; they might not fully grasp everything you’re going through, but they will certainly want to support you. If you feel hesitant to confide in your host family, you can also reach out to the AiC/AuPairREN counselor or coordinator for professional support and advice. Don’t view seeking help as a weakness. On the contrary, as one expert noted, “working together will lead to the cure” (How to Deal with Culture Shock)—by sharing the burden with people who care about you, you’ll climb out of the low much faster.

Connecting with your peers is also highly beneficial. Try to get in touch with other au pairs in China by joining our program’s group chats or attending meet-ups. Everyone is going through a similar process, and hearing others’ stories and sharing your own will make you realize that you’re not fighting this battle alone (Adapting to a new country: 6 tips for au pairs – AuPairWorld). Many au pairs feel a huge sense of relief after venting and bonding with fellow au pairs.

At the same time, don’t neglect taking care of yourself. Keep a regular sleep schedule and a balanced diet, and get some exercise — these healthy habits will help stabilize your mood and give you more energy to cope with challenges. Set some small goals for yourself, like learning one new Chinese phrase each week or visiting a new place in town on the weekend. Small achievements like these can provide positive reinforcement and gradually rekindle your enthusiasm for life. Remember, this low phase is only temporary; if you persevere, you’ll soon get through the storm and see clear skies again.

One effective approach is to actively participate in the monthly cultural exchange events organized by AiC/AuPairREN. Even when you’re feeling down, we encourage you to step outside and join these activities. There, you’ll have the chance to experience fun aspects of Chinese culture — for example, learning calligraphy, savoring a tea ceremony, or taking a short trip with other au pairs. Many au pairs find that after attending such events, their mood improves noticeably and they develop new interest and understanding of Chinese culture. It helps break the routine, reset your mindset, and helps you rediscover the curiosity and passion that brought you to China in the first place.

Getting through this challenging time isn’t easy, but it’s precisely these challenges that will make you stronger and more mature. As time passes, you’ll find yourself adapting to your surroundings bit by bit and the clouds starting to lift — which means you’re heading into the next stage of the adjustment curve, the period of readjustment and renewed interest in the culture.

第三阶段：再适应与文化兴趣激发 (Stage 3: Readjustment and Renewed Cultural Interest)

重新适应，重燃文化热情。度过了低谷期后，你会逐渐进入重新适应的新阶段。曾经让你困扰的事情现在变得熟悉而简单：你已经摸清了城市的交通系统，也能用中文说出一些日常生活中需要的词句，和寄宿家庭的相处变得轻松默契。你开始重拾信心，中国的生活逐步步入正轨。

更妙的是，你可能重新燃起了探索中国文化的好奇心和热情。过去那些令你不安的陌生事物，如今反而激发起你的兴趣——你也许开始培养一项新的爱好、计划去不同的城市旅行，或者主动学习了解中国的历史和习俗。很多互惠生在这一阶段都收获颇丰：他们结交了本地朋友，有了自己钟爱的中国特色活动，并且真正学会了欣赏中国文化和自己本国文化各自的魅力 (How to Deal with Culture Shock)。

随着适应的深入，你甚至可能把部分中国的习惯融入自己的生活方式中。也许你爱上了清晨打太极，或者习惯了用筷子用餐——这些在中国养成的新习惯已经成为你生活的一部分。即使将来回到自己的国家，你也会始终带着一段中国文化在身上 (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO)。可以说，此时的你已经在某种程度上将中国视作自己的“第二故乡”了。

在这个阶段，我们鼓励你继续充分利用 AiC/AuPairREN 提供的各种资源，让你的体验更加丰富多彩。每月的文化交流活动依然值得参与——现在的你往往能从中获得更深入的领悟和乐趣。比如，参加一次书法课，你也许比初来时更能体会其中蕴含的文化意义。你也可以告诉我们你特别感兴趣的文化领域，我们很乐意为你安排相应的体验活动。随着你经验的增长，你甚至可以在这些活动中帮助新来的互惠生，给他们提供建议和支持，就像当初别人帮助过你一样。以过来人的身份回馈和分享，会让你的旅程更加充实而有意义。

Adapting again and reigniting your passion for culture. After coming through the low point, you gradually enter a new phase of readjustment. Things that once troubled you now feel familiar and simple: you’ve figured out the city’s public transportation, you can say what you need in Chinese for everyday life, and you feel at ease with your host family. You begin to regain confidence as your life in China falls into a comfortable groove.

Even better, you might feel a renewed curiosity and enthusiasm for exploring Chinese culture. The things that used to unsettle you now spark your interest — perhaps you start developing a new hobby, plan trips to different cities, or actively learn about China’s history and customs. Many au pairs find this stage to be full of rewards: they make local friends, find favorite activities unique to China, and truly learn to appreciate both Chinese culture and their own home culture (How to Deal with Culture Shock).

As your adjustment deepens, you may even integrate some Chinese habits into your own lifestyle. Maybe you’ve grown fond of doing tai chi in the morning, or you’ve gotten used to eating with chopsticks — these new habits you’ve picked up in China have become a part of you. Even when you eventually return to your home country, you’ll carry a piece of Chinese culture with you (Cultural Adjustment Phases | ISO). In a sense, you’ve come to regard China as a “second home.”

In this stage, we encourage you to continue taking full advantage of all the resources AiC/AuPairREN provides to make your experience even more colorful. Our monthly cultural exchange events are still great to join — now you can likely derive even deeper insights and enjoyment from them. For example, if you attend a calligraphy workshop, you might appreciate the cultural meaning behind it much more than when you first arrived. You can also let us know if there’s a cultural aspect you’re particularly interested in, and we will gladly arrange an activity for that. As you become more experienced, you could even help out new arrivals at these events by offering them advice and support, just as others did for you. Giving back as an experienced friend can make your journey all the more fulfilling and meaningful.

结语 (Conclusion)

总的来说，从初到时的兴奋，到中途的低谷，再到后来的重新适应并激发对文化的兴趣，这段互惠生在中国的旅程涵盖了丰富的情感变化，也带来了宝贵的成长收获。虽然其中有欢笑也有挑战，但每一个阶段都让你更加了解这个世界，也更了解自己。这无疑是一段非常有意义的旅程——正是这些起伏，让你的跨文化体验如此独特而深刻。

经过这一系列的历练，你会发现自己的适应力更强了，眼界更开阔了，心态也更加成熟自信。在中国度过的时光将成为你人生中难忘且珍贵的一页 (Adapting to a new country: 6 tips for au pairs – AuPairWorld)。互惠生到中国，无疑是一个充满挑战但值得期待的选择，它将给你的人生带来积极而深远的影响。我们 AiC/AuPairREN 很荣幸能够在你的旅程中提供支持与陪伴，见证你在挑战中成长，并体会这段旅程所蕴含的非凡意义。

In summary, from the initial excitement to the mid-way lows, and finally to the later period of re-adjustment and cultural enthusiasm, your journey as an au pair in China will be filled with a rich tapestry of emotions and invaluable growth. There will be both laughter and challenges, but each stage helps you understand the world around you and discover more about yourself. It is undoubtedly a profoundly meaningful journey — the ups and downs are exactly what make your cross-cultural experience so unique and deep.

Having come this far, you’ll find that you have become more resilient, your perspective broader, and your mindset more mature and confident. The time you spend in China will stand as an unforgettable and precious chapter of your life (Adapting to a new country: 6 tips for au pairs – AuPairWorld). Choosing to be an au pair in China is, without a doubt, a choice full of challenges but also one well worth anticipating — it will bring positive and lasting impacts to your life. We at AiC/AuPairREN are proud to support and accompany you on this journey, watching you grow through the challenges and appreciate the extraordinary significance of this adventure.

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